I just want it to be this one linear, upward trajectory. People expect me to be fully cured, fully healed, be an advocate for this stuff. “But it’s a huge sense of shame and a sense that I’ve just let a ton of people down. “I’m working as hard as I can to come out the other side,” she said. Seidel has been working all summer to get it back under control, but she feels deep embarrassment that it remains an issue for her. “It’s been a persistent problem on and off, and it just got so, so bad after the Olympics,” she said. Seidel battles bulimia, and in interviews with Runner’s World, she described it as coming in waves.

Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to play In February, she received a diagnosis of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and was trying different strategies to cope with the symptoms, which include depression, anxiety, and the return of the eating disorder that Seidel has suffered with at different times for the past 12 years. The Olympic bronze medalist, 28, had also been struggling with her mental health-and it’s a struggle that is ongoing. And that fracture was only one problem in Seidel’s overall health outlook. The lower back injury, it turns out, really was a full fracture. Keira D’Amato got the call to replace Seidel. “Continuing to train and race would mostly likely lead to a full fracture, so we made the hard decision to pull from worlds,” it read in part. On July 1, Seidel’s agency, Total Sports, issued a statement on Twitter citing the injury. On its face, Molly Seidel’s explanation for pulling out of the World Championships marathon last summer-she had a stress reaction in her sacrum-seemed clear enough. For a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741. If you are struggling with an eating disorder and are in need of support, please call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1–800–931–2237. Content warning: This story covers disordered eating.

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